SE7EN THOUGHTS on TH1RTEEN R3ASONS WHY by Jay Asher
Review by: Silver Marie C. Brodit
Despite the book not being readily available in the RP (yet!), there has been a lot of hype about it (especially with its upcoming movie and who can resist the Youtube videos of Hannah Baker’s tapes?). So I searched for a pdf copy and downloaded it.
I was a little apprehensive of reading a book that involved suicide, mainly because it was hitting too close to home. I mean, I don’t want to hear an echo of my thoughts (or is it me that echoes theirs?) from someone else, someone who actually managed to do the deed. But then, I thought, maybe this was different, maybe she was different. Maybe she really had a good reason to do it… or should I say THIRTEEN very good reasons to do it.
Still not convinced if I should read it or not, like any logical person would do, I checked the reviews in its site. I thought a lot of the reviews were written by adults and that made me think of some things: 1. Did the teenagers read it? 2. How many teenagers write a review for a website? Not that many. They would read something, write a review for English class, maybe, but that would be it. Anyway, some reviews are really attention catchers, ‘insightful’, ‘powerful’, etc. One review even commented on how young people should be made aware that every little thing they do, will have their consequences. I find that a very ‘adult’ thing to say. I mean, I have nothing against adults. It was just an observation. Though sometimes, ‘adult’ commentary and advice seem so far out of reach, so very, very far. I wonder how many young people (and I do mean young in all aspects: immature in mind, immature in behavior) really understood those ‘adult’ comments. Probably just the well read ones… or those who were experiencing the same.
So with a gulp and deep breath, I read it. I freaking read a book about suicide and because of how it made me feel, I just need to write some stuff down. You don’t have to read it. You don’t have to share it. But I just have to write it. And for those who may want to read the book, well, this may just be one of those reviews you might chance upon in that moment when you ask yourself, “Should I read it or not?”
Thought 1: Lés Miserables
Having others make your life miserable is one thing. Making someone else’s life miserable is another. And having your life made miserable then letting someone else’s life be miserable, is way, way above the other two. I should know: I’ve been on both sides as well.
The first few reasons Hannah gave were, in her own words, ‘petty’. But she was right, it was beside the point. Those first reasons started the snowball effect: little petty things that add up and add up and add up until it’s too late.
But even then, I don’t think those were enough reasons to kill yourself. And Hannah must have thought it too. Living in a place like hell… that was fixable. Haters are gonna hate, no matter what. Bullying, in all forms, are still outside forces, forces Hannah and I knew were not enough to really topple us.
But then the tapes continue, and finally, not only were people given a reason to dislike her, but now she had a reason to HATE herself (though she didn't exactly say she 'hates' herself), to KILL herself. I think the later reasons were enough for anyone to feel so much guilt that they would just hate themselves too… and with people already out to ‘get’ you… it really does seem too much. ‘Cause you should have known better, you who have felt miserable. You know what it’s like and yet… and yet… Yeah, I've had events like that too.
Thought 2: Same but Different
We weren't the same… not completely. And I don’t know if that was a good thing or a bad thing. Just because I’m alive and Hannah isn't, may lead people to believe it was a good thing but I can’t really say. She’s dead while I’m alive to face all the consequences. She’s free while I need to carry the burden of regrets and mistakes and learn to deal with them. We’re different.
For one thing, all the circumstances were different specifically (though essentially they’re the same). We've experienced and witnessed different specifics… although these things did make us feel the SAME. And just as I feared, some of her thoughts echoed mine. BUT, and this is a BIG BUT, a lot of MY thoughts weren't in her head either.
MY POSITIVE THOUGHTS (that weren't in her head)
I believe in magic. I believe in a powerful being. My head is full of stories and poems and songs and drawings. They say creative people tend to be depressed and that’s true, but because we have an outlet, I think we’re also the least likely to just kill ourselves all willy-nilly (With the exception of Vincent Van Gogh, now that guy REALLY had a lot going on). And those thoughts held me, ever so tightly. And God! God held me ever so tightly. I felt (or imagined, it’s up to you) GOD in every fiber of my being. It made me imagine, believe, that there was something more to this flesh and blood. And the thought of God, just being here and it was up to me to FEEL His presence, was enough to not make a serious attempt on my life. (I do hurt myself though, but that’s different. I don’t hurt myself because I hate myself. Those are for when I’m numb and I check if I’m dreaming or not… yeah, I know. I’m weird.)
MY NEGATIVE THOUGHTS (that weren’t in her head)
Bet you didn't think negative thoughts could stop someone from killing themselves, huh? Well, you’re wrong. Besides they weren't entirely negative. They just weren’t positive.
Among and the most powerful of these negative thoughts is this: I had a sibling who was miscarried because I had just been born and only a few months have passed. The uterus wasn’t ready. That’s a negative thought. Had I been born early or had I not been born at all, my brother would have lived. But then I thought, if I could see him now, and he saw the state I was in what would I say? Life is hell and people are evil? And what would he say? “I’d still rather be alive and in your shoes. Feeling the wind in my face, the rain, the sunlight. I’d be able to eat, drink and sleep.” And that answer would bring me to shame and make me think of all the aborted babies and miscarried babies and people who had NO CHOICE whether they lived or died. I feel so ASHAMED because THEY would rather be here despite all the bad. THEY would rather LIVE. And here I was thinking about ending mine. That’s a bucket of cold water right there, sometimes more effective than a poem.
Thought 3: All the Clay in the World
These thoughts aren’t as organized as Hannah’s list, but if they were, thought #3 should really be at the top. But thoughts don’t work like that. They come to you in the spur of the moment and even if you’d think of something better the next time, you already had a prior thought. And this next thought is about Clay and all the people who this character is standing up for: people who cared. Although as Hannah put it, ‘didn’t care enough’.
And honestly Clay is blameless, Hannah even said so. SHE pushed HIM away. So why was he feeling guilty? Actually anyone who thought they could’ve done something but didn’t would always feel guilty, even if it’s just a little bit. And the saying (or part of the saying), “the worst thing you can do is nothing” would make anyone feel like they’re bad guy. So thank you Theodore Roosevelt, long will your words haunt the steps of inactive people.
Sad thing is… it’s the truth. You can apologize and make amends when you’ve wronged someone. But how can you make amends for nothing? How can you make up for nothing?
I push people away every day, every opportunity I could get. Do I blame them if they leave? No? In fact, I think they did the right thing. But that’s a selfish thing to do. I had made people do what I say… not what they wanted to do.
So thank you to my lifeline, my life support, my own brand of happy pills… my Vincent. Honestly, you were the person that kept popping up in my head as I read this book. What would have happened to me if you hadn’t been so stubborn, so stoic, so… well, there? You were there, even when I pushed you away, left you, avoided you, tormented you, did anything I could to make you hate me, make you leave me… and you didn’t. Thank you.
But Hannah didn’t have a Vincent. She had a Clay, and a Tony and Mr. Porter. But they weren’t enough… because honestly, they did nothing.
Thought 4: This can’t be a critique
I can’t judge her. Not really. Not even if I wanted to. I can comment on her actions and the actions of the others. I can point out what I’ve observed. But to say they were bad people or good people or that they were pathetic or they were amazing, I simply can’t. Fact is, they were YOUNG people. And I was young myself, once. Back then, nothing hurt more than judgment in all forms: preconceived, misinformed, ill-observed, and rightly deserved, they still weigh heavily on the young; singularly when it comes from people who they regard more than others.
And I still remember that feeling. Still feel that way even now. And I just can’t do that, even to fictional characters. They say be kind to others because you don’t know what they’re going through. And that is absolutely right.
As for the book, I wanted to color it: One color for Hannah’s narrative and another for Clay’s. But, then again, that may just be the artist in me. So no, I don’t think this has been a very good review of a book at all. I’ve just been rambling on about how my life and thoughts overlap with that of Hannah.
Thought 5: Help?
I hate confrontations. Given the choice between fighting a WINNING battle and leaving, I would leave. Unless it’s about a friend or family then BRING IT ON, *itches! But seriously, this book made me think of how you would confront people.
It’s so easy to say take the high road but that’s just it. It’s easier said than done. And recalling high school, with raging hormones and personal issues, confronting others was really hard and scary, with people weighing the pros and cons. How do you tell a bully to stop? And when you do, will the bullying stop or get worse? Should you ask for help? And what if that would make it worse? Seriously, we need help and we’re weighing the pros and cons of asking for help? There was something wrong there.
The book reminded me of how I turned the other cheek way back when. Even with parents and teachers involved… it actually kind of gotten worse. The change in seating arrangement was a big improvement though. But that didn’t change the fact that I did nothing, I let it happen to me.
I don’t know why teachers would go around and say “you’re gonna be adults and you need to learn how to deal with these things”. Well, some people ARE NOT DEALING. So does that mean they won’t ever grow up, that they would be beneath the other who do mature and get over it and DEAL? Do we HAVE to DEAL with that?
How do you ask for help?
I for one, try not to. It seems so much more like I’m a burden to them. That’s another difference between Hannah and me. I feel that I’m a burden, a dead weight to people and the maybe their world would be better without me. I mean they tell me of my flaws often enough, and unlike Hannah, I think I deserve them. So how can someone who really needs help ask for it, in a world so ready to judge or so ready to let you go on your own? Especially, when asking for help may actually make things worse.
Thought 6: Forgive and Forget
I don’t think Hannah hated the people on the list, the same way I don’t hate those on mine. You can only hate so much before you just have to let it go. It’s draining, tiring. And honestly, some of them didn’t know what they were doing. The words ‘I hate you’ has been over- and misused the same way the words ‘I love you’ have been. Very few really hate for very good reasons.
And it’s so easy to forgive. Honestly, when someone is sincere, you’ll forgive them. But to forget… that’s almost always nearly impossible depending on the events. You don’t ever forget that you were hurt. The feeling may fade but the memory that you had that feeling remains. And you’re scarred. Events will remind you of that hurt and sometimes it’s a good thing. You know the fire’s hot so you won’t touch it. But it also makes you distrustful and disconnects you to others. You don’t want to get burned again.
Thought 7:
Suicide… is a choice. I want to say, it’s the wrong choice but again, who am I to judge? Maybe it’s because I don’t want to end up in a worse place than high school, that’s why I say this. But mostly because, it just feels so selfish.
Suicide is either very brave: you have the strength to end it all, the strength to face the unknown in the hope of something better. You have the strength to admit, you’ve had enough. The strength to admit you’re not strong enough.
Or very cowardly: you don’t want to face the bad, you can’t even say to others you’re not strong enough. Or you yourself didn’t try hard enough to tell them, as much as they didn’t try hard enough to reach you. You’re taking the easy way out (Ok, killing is not easy but it’s an expression.) You just gave up without giving others another chance (whether deserved or not), without giving yourself another chance.
Hannah said she was giving up on herself and that pretty much sums it up. It’s a story of a girl who gave up on her life and left her version of events to people who were involved. It was her last time to explain herself, to explain why she did what she did, to tell people how she really felt.
And I wondered why she couldn’t just mail it to them while she left the town. She could’ve always just left. Was suicide really her only option? No. But it was her choice. It was her choice to get back (because it WAS a way of getting back no matter what she may try to say) at others who won’t be able to fight back after she’s gone. She chose that.
It’s also about Clay who tried but couldn’t… and was made to realize that he could’ve tried more.
So… TH1RTEEN R3ASONS WHY… I wouldn’t agree absolutely with all the other reviews, but they do have basis for what they had written. I would say the book was… real. And base on the above ‘thought-provoking’ maybe an apt description… seven-thought-provoking in my case.
Review by: Silver Marie C. Brodit
Despite the book not being readily available in the RP (yet!), there has been a lot of hype about it (especially with its upcoming movie and who can resist the Youtube videos of Hannah Baker’s tapes?). So I searched for a pdf copy and downloaded it.
I was a little apprehensive of reading a book that involved suicide, mainly because it was hitting too close to home. I mean, I don’t want to hear an echo of my thoughts (or is it me that echoes theirs?) from someone else, someone who actually managed to do the deed. But then, I thought, maybe this was different, maybe she was different. Maybe she really had a good reason to do it… or should I say THIRTEEN very good reasons to do it.
Still not convinced if I should read it or not, like any logical person would do, I checked the reviews in its site. I thought a lot of the reviews were written by adults and that made me think of some things: 1. Did the teenagers read it? 2. How many teenagers write a review for a website? Not that many. They would read something, write a review for English class, maybe, but that would be it. Anyway, some reviews are really attention catchers, ‘insightful’, ‘powerful’, etc. One review even commented on how young people should be made aware that every little thing they do, will have their consequences. I find that a very ‘adult’ thing to say. I mean, I have nothing against adults. It was just an observation. Though sometimes, ‘adult’ commentary and advice seem so far out of reach, so very, very far. I wonder how many young people (and I do mean young in all aspects: immature in mind, immature in behavior) really understood those ‘adult’ comments. Probably just the well read ones… or those who were experiencing the same.
So with a gulp and deep breath, I read it. I freaking read a book about suicide and because of how it made me feel, I just need to write some stuff down. You don’t have to read it. You don’t have to share it. But I just have to write it. And for those who may want to read the book, well, this may just be one of those reviews you might chance upon in that moment when you ask yourself, “Should I read it or not?”
Thought 1: Lés Miserables
Having others make your life miserable is one thing. Making someone else’s life miserable is another. And having your life made miserable then letting someone else’s life be miserable, is way, way above the other two. I should know: I’ve been on both sides as well.
The first few reasons Hannah gave were, in her own words, ‘petty’. But she was right, it was beside the point. Those first reasons started the snowball effect: little petty things that add up and add up and add up until it’s too late.
But even then, I don’t think those were enough reasons to kill yourself. And Hannah must have thought it too. Living in a place like hell… that was fixable. Haters are gonna hate, no matter what. Bullying, in all forms, are still outside forces, forces Hannah and I knew were not enough to really topple us.
But then the tapes continue, and finally, not only were people given a reason to dislike her, but now she had a reason to HATE herself (though she didn't exactly say she 'hates' herself), to KILL herself. I think the later reasons were enough for anyone to feel so much guilt that they would just hate themselves too… and with people already out to ‘get’ you… it really does seem too much. ‘Cause you should have known better, you who have felt miserable. You know what it’s like and yet… and yet… Yeah, I've had events like that too.
Thought 2: Same but Different
We weren't the same… not completely. And I don’t know if that was a good thing or a bad thing. Just because I’m alive and Hannah isn't, may lead people to believe it was a good thing but I can’t really say. She’s dead while I’m alive to face all the consequences. She’s free while I need to carry the burden of regrets and mistakes and learn to deal with them. We’re different.
For one thing, all the circumstances were different specifically (though essentially they’re the same). We've experienced and witnessed different specifics… although these things did make us feel the SAME. And just as I feared, some of her thoughts echoed mine. BUT, and this is a BIG BUT, a lot of MY thoughts weren't in her head either.
MY POSITIVE THOUGHTS (that weren't in her head)
I believe in magic. I believe in a powerful being. My head is full of stories and poems and songs and drawings. They say creative people tend to be depressed and that’s true, but because we have an outlet, I think we’re also the least likely to just kill ourselves all willy-nilly (With the exception of Vincent Van Gogh, now that guy REALLY had a lot going on). And those thoughts held me, ever so tightly. And God! God held me ever so tightly. I felt (or imagined, it’s up to you) GOD in every fiber of my being. It made me imagine, believe, that there was something more to this flesh and blood. And the thought of God, just being here and it was up to me to FEEL His presence, was enough to not make a serious attempt on my life. (I do hurt myself though, but that’s different. I don’t hurt myself because I hate myself. Those are for when I’m numb and I check if I’m dreaming or not… yeah, I know. I’m weird.)
MY NEGATIVE THOUGHTS (that weren’t in her head)
Bet you didn't think negative thoughts could stop someone from killing themselves, huh? Well, you’re wrong. Besides they weren't entirely negative. They just weren’t positive.
Among and the most powerful of these negative thoughts is this: I had a sibling who was miscarried because I had just been born and only a few months have passed. The uterus wasn’t ready. That’s a negative thought. Had I been born early or had I not been born at all, my brother would have lived. But then I thought, if I could see him now, and he saw the state I was in what would I say? Life is hell and people are evil? And what would he say? “I’d still rather be alive and in your shoes. Feeling the wind in my face, the rain, the sunlight. I’d be able to eat, drink and sleep.” And that answer would bring me to shame and make me think of all the aborted babies and miscarried babies and people who had NO CHOICE whether they lived or died. I feel so ASHAMED because THEY would rather be here despite all the bad. THEY would rather LIVE. And here I was thinking about ending mine. That’s a bucket of cold water right there, sometimes more effective than a poem.
Thought 3: All the Clay in the World
These thoughts aren’t as organized as Hannah’s list, but if they were, thought #3 should really be at the top. But thoughts don’t work like that. They come to you in the spur of the moment and even if you’d think of something better the next time, you already had a prior thought. And this next thought is about Clay and all the people who this character is standing up for: people who cared. Although as Hannah put it, ‘didn’t care enough’.
And honestly Clay is blameless, Hannah even said so. SHE pushed HIM away. So why was he feeling guilty? Actually anyone who thought they could’ve done something but didn’t would always feel guilty, even if it’s just a little bit. And the saying (or part of the saying), “the worst thing you can do is nothing” would make anyone feel like they’re bad guy. So thank you Theodore Roosevelt, long will your words haunt the steps of inactive people.
Sad thing is… it’s the truth. You can apologize and make amends when you’ve wronged someone. But how can you make amends for nothing? How can you make up for nothing?
I push people away every day, every opportunity I could get. Do I blame them if they leave? No? In fact, I think they did the right thing. But that’s a selfish thing to do. I had made people do what I say… not what they wanted to do.
So thank you to my lifeline, my life support, my own brand of happy pills… my Vincent. Honestly, you were the person that kept popping up in my head as I read this book. What would have happened to me if you hadn’t been so stubborn, so stoic, so… well, there? You were there, even when I pushed you away, left you, avoided you, tormented you, did anything I could to make you hate me, make you leave me… and you didn’t. Thank you.
But Hannah didn’t have a Vincent. She had a Clay, and a Tony and Mr. Porter. But they weren’t enough… because honestly, they did nothing.
Thought 4: This can’t be a critique
I can’t judge her. Not really. Not even if I wanted to. I can comment on her actions and the actions of the others. I can point out what I’ve observed. But to say they were bad people or good people or that they were pathetic or they were amazing, I simply can’t. Fact is, they were YOUNG people. And I was young myself, once. Back then, nothing hurt more than judgment in all forms: preconceived, misinformed, ill-observed, and rightly deserved, they still weigh heavily on the young; singularly when it comes from people who they regard more than others.
And I still remember that feeling. Still feel that way even now. And I just can’t do that, even to fictional characters. They say be kind to others because you don’t know what they’re going through. And that is absolutely right.
As for the book, I wanted to color it: One color for Hannah’s narrative and another for Clay’s. But, then again, that may just be the artist in me. So no, I don’t think this has been a very good review of a book at all. I’ve just been rambling on about how my life and thoughts overlap with that of Hannah.
Thought 5: Help?
I hate confrontations. Given the choice between fighting a WINNING battle and leaving, I would leave. Unless it’s about a friend or family then BRING IT ON, *itches! But seriously, this book made me think of how you would confront people.
It’s so easy to say take the high road but that’s just it. It’s easier said than done. And recalling high school, with raging hormones and personal issues, confronting others was really hard and scary, with people weighing the pros and cons. How do you tell a bully to stop? And when you do, will the bullying stop or get worse? Should you ask for help? And what if that would make it worse? Seriously, we need help and we’re weighing the pros and cons of asking for help? There was something wrong there.
The book reminded me of how I turned the other cheek way back when. Even with parents and teachers involved… it actually kind of gotten worse. The change in seating arrangement was a big improvement though. But that didn’t change the fact that I did nothing, I let it happen to me.
I don’t know why teachers would go around and say “you’re gonna be adults and you need to learn how to deal with these things”. Well, some people ARE NOT DEALING. So does that mean they won’t ever grow up, that they would be beneath the other who do mature and get over it and DEAL? Do we HAVE to DEAL with that?
How do you ask for help?
I for one, try not to. It seems so much more like I’m a burden to them. That’s another difference between Hannah and me. I feel that I’m a burden, a dead weight to people and the maybe their world would be better without me. I mean they tell me of my flaws often enough, and unlike Hannah, I think I deserve them. So how can someone who really needs help ask for it, in a world so ready to judge or so ready to let you go on your own? Especially, when asking for help may actually make things worse.
Thought 6: Forgive and Forget
I don’t think Hannah hated the people on the list, the same way I don’t hate those on mine. You can only hate so much before you just have to let it go. It’s draining, tiring. And honestly, some of them didn’t know what they were doing. The words ‘I hate you’ has been over- and misused the same way the words ‘I love you’ have been. Very few really hate for very good reasons.
And it’s so easy to forgive. Honestly, when someone is sincere, you’ll forgive them. But to forget… that’s almost always nearly impossible depending on the events. You don’t ever forget that you were hurt. The feeling may fade but the memory that you had that feeling remains. And you’re scarred. Events will remind you of that hurt and sometimes it’s a good thing. You know the fire’s hot so you won’t touch it. But it also makes you distrustful and disconnects you to others. You don’t want to get burned again.
Thought 7:
Suicide… is a choice. I want to say, it’s the wrong choice but again, who am I to judge? Maybe it’s because I don’t want to end up in a worse place than high school, that’s why I say this. But mostly because, it just feels so selfish.
Suicide is either very brave: you have the strength to end it all, the strength to face the unknown in the hope of something better. You have the strength to admit, you’ve had enough. The strength to admit you’re not strong enough.
Or very cowardly: you don’t want to face the bad, you can’t even say to others you’re not strong enough. Or you yourself didn’t try hard enough to tell them, as much as they didn’t try hard enough to reach you. You’re taking the easy way out (Ok, killing is not easy but it’s an expression.) You just gave up without giving others another chance (whether deserved or not), without giving yourself another chance.
Hannah said she was giving up on herself and that pretty much sums it up. It’s a story of a girl who gave up on her life and left her version of events to people who were involved. It was her last time to explain herself, to explain why she did what she did, to tell people how she really felt.
And I wondered why she couldn’t just mail it to them while she left the town. She could’ve always just left. Was suicide really her only option? No. But it was her choice. It was her choice to get back (because it WAS a way of getting back no matter what she may try to say) at others who won’t be able to fight back after she’s gone. She chose that.
It’s also about Clay who tried but couldn’t… and was made to realize that he could’ve tried more.
So… TH1RTEEN R3ASONS WHY… I wouldn’t agree absolutely with all the other reviews, but they do have basis for what they had written. I would say the book was… real. And base on the above ‘thought-provoking’ maybe an apt description… seven-thought-provoking in my case.