May 12, '09 9:17 PM
for everyone
For the Record
More Than Just The First Day of Nine
As of yesterday, May 8 2009, the Novena for Our Lady of salvation (Nuestra Señora de Salvacion) has begun. It's a preparation for the neighborhood's fiesta this coming May 17. And I have always accompanied my grandmother, mama Betty, to these gatherings.
Novena consists of the recitation of the novena itself, kneeling, singing and praying. A Novena Mass soon follows it. All this takes place in the neighborhood chapel named after our patron, the Lady of Salvation.
But this entry is so much more than just the first day of nine. There are other events that I want to discuss. For the record, I'm listening to an old CD.
One is the arrival of tito Chad and the family. We went to his favorite restaurant, the one with the singing cooks and waiters. It's a fun place and we often sing along with the musicians. The food is delicious as well. But I was stumped that night. Not only did baby Matt keep crying when we take him away from tito Chad, but I learned a sad truth.
During dinner, I was texting Ron Vincent. I was kinda forcing him to come back to the way we were. He was my most important person in the world. But then he said he had already let me go. I was hurt. I didn't realize he could just let me go. Anyway, I was out of sync that night. But I am no thespian for nothing. I sang and smiled and laughed then took a pen and paper and wrote. Yes, I wrote two stories that night, additions to a compilation of my short stories I plan to call "Tales From The Black Sheep." It was all for him, or what we had, for what may never return.
Needless to say, I deleted him from my friend's list (in all my accounts). As a final hurtful step, I deleted his cell number. I haven't memorized it so I won't be able to re-enter. No, there's no turning back this time. I am no longer hoping he'll be back, that we'll be back. So I turned my eyes to a very vague future (vague because, as I have said, I know longer see myself in the future).
But even that did not bring light to my fast dimming world. One night, I miss-called my boyfriend, Lesther just to see if his cell was on (Many a time there was when his phone would be off and my messages would remain unread). He texted back. He too was having a bad time. He said something about college not going too well and that he did not want to go home that night. I was worried. I asked where he was and all he answered was that he was safe. I sighed. He also said he would call as soon as he can. It has been two days and still no word from him. For the record, I'm getting tired of all of this.
Distraction came to my rescue in the form of Anthony, who I have missed. No, he's not a close friend. But he's not just an acquaintance. I guess a ghost friend will be a good term. Anyway, it's been awhile since we've had the chance to chat. He was researching on books. One was titled, The Wind-up Bird Chronicle, a book I've been dying to read. He hasn't read it either but we did get on the subject of books. I told him how I was getting to be a picky reader. I cannot help it. There are some books that I can't put down and there are those that just bore me on the first page. We ended our light discussion on me suggesting Italo Calvino's "If On A Winter's Night A Traveler" for him to read.
My thoughts wandered to an English teacher I have grown fond of. Yes, it is none other than Mr. De Guzman. He was the one who lent me the Calvino book and I have enjoyed it tremendously. He has lent me quite a number of books, in fact. It wasn't long after I met him that I knew he was a kindred spirit although the fact remains that I am still the reigning queen of darkness.
Thoughts of sir Wolfe make my mind drift to my high school days. And the songs I'm listening to only make me more nostalgic. High school and this cd (sam's choice) all remind me of my first kiss…but that is entirely another entry, another rambling of the mildly depressed.
For the record, this season, storms have come and gone in the Philippines. But it seems heartaches are never out of season.
As usual, I remain your informer,
Me