hmmmm..WAH!Apr 22, '09 10:18 AM
for everyoneWah!
Fact: I don’t care about anything anymore…I have preferences but not really things I would fight for. A good example would be my (bachelors) course. I prefer BS Biology but I’m ok to let it go. In fact, I would be ok if I didn’t go to college. I prefer going but I’m not that deeply rooted. I can put on an act or half-lie to people that I’m fighting for something but at the end of the day, I’m just a good actress. The problem is not many people can take this. It’s for them I learned to put on a show.
Try as I may, I cannot see me in the future. Now that I think about it, I don’t see myself in my past as well. It’s just me. It’s just the present. How do I see myself ten years from now? I don’t think I’m dead. But the fact remains I don’t see myself at all.
For the record, it’s 9:20AM as I type this. I’ll probably copy this and post it in my blogs like I usually do.
A few minutes ago I was thinking of Ron Vincent Ramos. How I miss my cousin. Or is it how I miss the cemetery?
Cemetery. Vince and I became friends because of the cemetery. I was 14 and he was 13 when I had the obsession for the cemetery. This obsession was the fruit of my sister’s words. Jill said she visited our great grandmother’s grave and I wanted to do the same. It was sometime before mom find out. We weren’t keeping it from her. But like the child we were, we thought everything we do was ok as long as we come home on time and follow all their instructions. Well, as can be expected, it was not ok to visit the cemetery. We were informed that drug addicts and rapists haunt the cemetery grounds as much as the ghosts did. According to her, we weren’t allowed to go there unaccompanied. It was fine for me. My dad liked visiting his grandmother, our great grandmother. However, I’m not sure if it was because he was stressed or super busy, he hadn’t the time to go with me or Jill.
About that time I was going through an unexplained phase. I smile at the thought that so many things were happening then however childish or rather teenager-ish they may be. Nothing happens now, or nothing happens that I’m particularly aware of unlike then. Break-ups, trips to the VP’s office, school functions seem to be such a big deal. Then again, we (me and my batch mates) were in a world completely different from here, the School World where everything is limited to the four walls of the school and how the student body makes the most of it. Even back then I didn’t care much. The only reason I made such a fuss of things is because the people around me did. I guess I was caught up in the hype of the moment. Besides, so many of us were beginning to act-up. Cigarettes, cutting classes, alcohol, gangs, sex, hormones were scattered. And by the time we were in our junior year 26 were expelled or no longer admitted the following year, about a quarter of the boys population and some girls were under probation and pilot sections went down the drain. And even then we saw some students get expelled. But along side this, the so-called elite and silent rivers we’re acting out their own way too. If they did not do what was listed above they did the following: grades went down (but not failing, mind you), some poured their souls in activities (This is serious. We wouldn’t do our homeworks until the next day because we were rehearsing, doing props and the like. Sometimes we even talk [if not trick] our teachers into giving us their time for practice.), some showed passion for the arts (many musicians and artists sprouted from our batch), clothing and accessories ruled the school (yeah, I know emo is famous now. It wasn’t then.), and those like me found refuge in ‘original’ cliques (original being an understatement).
So in that phase were I began to be dark and unpredictable (sometimes I was good and sometimes I was a plain b*tch.), I had my first barkada. Needless to say, I was the only girl in the group. But as Jocris put it, “Silver, babae ka ba?” And in this group (magpipinsan ni lolo) was Kuya Vince and Gabby.
The relationship we had then was less than simple. As it turned out, Kuya Vince loves the dead as much as I do. Besides, he needed an excuse to not to go to his mom and I needed a bodyguard to go the cemetery. It was a great deal. We were there by 4PM and out by 5PM (my curfew is 5:30PM). But that was then.
How I miss the cemetery. How I miss my Kuya Vince.
for everyoneWah!
Fact: I don’t care about anything anymore…I have preferences but not really things I would fight for. A good example would be my (bachelors) course. I prefer BS Biology but I’m ok to let it go. In fact, I would be ok if I didn’t go to college. I prefer going but I’m not that deeply rooted. I can put on an act or half-lie to people that I’m fighting for something but at the end of the day, I’m just a good actress. The problem is not many people can take this. It’s for them I learned to put on a show.
Try as I may, I cannot see me in the future. Now that I think about it, I don’t see myself in my past as well. It’s just me. It’s just the present. How do I see myself ten years from now? I don’t think I’m dead. But the fact remains I don’t see myself at all.
For the record, it’s 9:20AM as I type this. I’ll probably copy this and post it in my blogs like I usually do.
A few minutes ago I was thinking of Ron Vincent Ramos. How I miss my cousin. Or is it how I miss the cemetery?
Cemetery. Vince and I became friends because of the cemetery. I was 14 and he was 13 when I had the obsession for the cemetery. This obsession was the fruit of my sister’s words. Jill said she visited our great grandmother’s grave and I wanted to do the same. It was sometime before mom find out. We weren’t keeping it from her. But like the child we were, we thought everything we do was ok as long as we come home on time and follow all their instructions. Well, as can be expected, it was not ok to visit the cemetery. We were informed that drug addicts and rapists haunt the cemetery grounds as much as the ghosts did. According to her, we weren’t allowed to go there unaccompanied. It was fine for me. My dad liked visiting his grandmother, our great grandmother. However, I’m not sure if it was because he was stressed or super busy, he hadn’t the time to go with me or Jill.
About that time I was going through an unexplained phase. I smile at the thought that so many things were happening then however childish or rather teenager-ish they may be. Nothing happens now, or nothing happens that I’m particularly aware of unlike then. Break-ups, trips to the VP’s office, school functions seem to be such a big deal. Then again, we (me and my batch mates) were in a world completely different from here, the School World where everything is limited to the four walls of the school and how the student body makes the most of it. Even back then I didn’t care much. The only reason I made such a fuss of things is because the people around me did. I guess I was caught up in the hype of the moment. Besides, so many of us were beginning to act-up. Cigarettes, cutting classes, alcohol, gangs, sex, hormones were scattered. And by the time we were in our junior year 26 were expelled or no longer admitted the following year, about a quarter of the boys population and some girls were under probation and pilot sections went down the drain. And even then we saw some students get expelled. But along side this, the so-called elite and silent rivers we’re acting out their own way too. If they did not do what was listed above they did the following: grades went down (but not failing, mind you), some poured their souls in activities (This is serious. We wouldn’t do our homeworks until the next day because we were rehearsing, doing props and the like. Sometimes we even talk [if not trick] our teachers into giving us their time for practice.), some showed passion for the arts (many musicians and artists sprouted from our batch), clothing and accessories ruled the school (yeah, I know emo is famous now. It wasn’t then.), and those like me found refuge in ‘original’ cliques (original being an understatement).
So in that phase were I began to be dark and unpredictable (sometimes I was good and sometimes I was a plain b*tch.), I had my first barkada. Needless to say, I was the only girl in the group. But as Jocris put it, “Silver, babae ka ba?” And in this group (magpipinsan ni lolo) was Kuya Vince and Gabby.
The relationship we had then was less than simple. As it turned out, Kuya Vince loves the dead as much as I do. Besides, he needed an excuse to not to go to his mom and I needed a bodyguard to go the cemetery. It was a great deal. We were there by 4PM and out by 5PM (my curfew is 5:30PM). But that was then.
How I miss the cemetery. How I miss my Kuya Vince.